Envy and Spite.

“Baby, Baby”

The radio blared in my car as Justin Bieber’s hit song ‘Baby’ assaulted my ears. This was sweet, sweet torture at its best. It was a Monday evening and there I was seated in the back of my car; on my way to the piano class. It was five in the evening and my class was scheduled to start at six, but my class was literally on the other side of town and I knew I was going to be late. I rapped my knuckles in irritation hailing from both the traffic and Justin Bieber’s voice. I shut my eyes for a whole minute, wishing myself in my bed at home. The radio jockeys loud and cheerful voice, however, dragged me all the way out of my thoughts. I listened keenly, hoping for a nice song to play. A smile crept to my lips at the thought of that new song I’d heard just yesterday. It had kept me enthralled. I asked the driver to turn up the volume just in case a good song played. But Prudence was testing me that day; for yet again a Justin Bieber song started playing. I growled at the driver to turn the radio off. With nothing else to do now, I soon drifted off to sleep.

“HONK HONK”

I was woken by the loud honking by the BMTC bus next to my car. Looking out the window , I saw that the sky was dark and it was raining cats and dogs. Looking at the digital clock on the dashboard ahead of me, I saw that the  time was 7:42 pm. Puzzled, I asked my driver what had happened. He politely explained that due to the heavy rains my piano teacher had been unable to make it to class and had called it off. I sighed helplessly and after a few minutes of silence, asked the driver to turn the radio on. The annoying voice of this new radio jockey filled the car and soon enough, I made the driver switch the radio off. I then pulled my phone out of my pocket – I had calls to return and some of own to make! As I have mentioned earlier, Prudence was merely toying with me that day. The battery was dead. Groaning and throwing my phone across to the seat, I returned to staring out the window.

This is Bangalore city – bright, colourful, happening, wild, sleazy and entertaining. When at first we passed mall after mall, I was comforted. Banners proclaiming “SALE” and “70% OFF” had me thinking ‘I must make a trip here with my friends this weekend!’ But here’s one more thing about Bangalore – it’s a big, crowded place. So inevitably, we got caught at the traffic signal.

It had been two minutes since we had come to a stop at the traffic signal and the traffic had not moved by even an inch. Sighing, I found myself looking out the window and was quickly getting bored. I looked down at my shoes for a second when there came a feeble rap at my window. Looking up, I saw a lady with an arms outstretched in front of me. She was clad in the dirtiest sari I had ever seen- whether it was brown or red, I couldn't tell. There were holes everywhere and it looked like it would disintegrate in the rain. The rain was causing streaks of dirt to appear on her face that looked like tears had been imprinted on them. The thinning hair was matted and dirty like the rest of her and her arms were as thin as they come. But it was her eyes that caused my breath to get caught. What I saw there was an unfathomable well of pain, hurt, and destruction. They told a tale of poverty, a tale of having being crushed and made to beg for a living; to beg for a place in this world. They shone of a suppression I had never known, oppression by the rich – by people like me. Along with the sadness I saw in her eyes, I saw a sense of accusation. ‘You have made me what I am’, those eyes seemed to tell me. It was then for the first time in my life that I felt truly a victim of spite, of envy. Those eyes seemed to say ‘Why must you have all that I don’t?”

The traffic light turned green and my car sped off into the night, with me in it  -  sheltered from the same world. But what I had seen that day, will never leave my memory for one might say, what I uncovered then is the universal truth.

Written on 15th August, 2013